Since my father-in-law has moved in with us he has effectively destroyed all our tablecloths. Since his first month with us, when he tried setting his napkin on fire, he has taken a slow but methodical approach in this. Almost every meal he will add a little stain. A splash of red wine here, a drop of gravy there, a good smear of curry here, a splatter of pasta sauce there. . . It is a long-term campaign that bears witness to his patience. He is thorough, he is taking his time, and he is getting the job done.
I, on the other hand, tend to do things in a rather more flamboyant and whole-hearted manner. Not for me the long drawn out campaign against table linens. I get in there, get the job over in one big strike, and get out again.
So, this morning, I took my plate with my breakfast spelt flour pancake with maple syrup and huge mound of (very)hot blueberries. I’ve been having a bit of a blueberry craze – we can now get them frozen at a reasonable price. However, instead of just defrosting this lot in the microwave this morning, I had obviously nuked them. This meant that in addition to being very hot, there was a lot of juice that had come out of them. Waste not, want not, I thought and poured it all over my pancake. Plate in one hand, coffee mug in t’other, book under my arm, I marched into the dining room and promptly emptied the entire plate load over the tablecloth. Our best white tablecloth. I like to do things in style!